All of life is a sculpture that continues to evolve as unwanted bits and pieces of wood and marble are chipped away. Simplicity is creation without baggage. As we get rid of the bits and pieces of emotional and physical garbage our personal sculpture evolves closer towards our authentic selves. As the carving evolves, it becomes more distinguishable and simpler in form.
A simple life has a different meaning and a different value for every person. For me, it means eliminating all but the essential, eschewing chaos for peace, and spending my time doing what is important to me. I am not always successful. In fact, my life is chaos about as much as it is simple. I can tell you, however, that at one time in my life it was utter chaos so to be able to allow myself time to “live simply and in the moment” is quite an accomplishment for me.
Living simply is also about surrounding yourself with people who love and care about you for your unique individualism. There is this individual in my life in which I need to begin to distance myself. Lets call her Jane. When I am around her, I let her make me feel small, insignificant, and I lose confidence. For instance, the other night, she came to my home to pick up her child. Within the first two minutes of being there, her phone rang so she began talking on the phone with another friend of hers. For the next 10-15 minutes or so, she carried on a conversation with her friend, and then, invited her friend to my house for a drink. She continued to speak to her friend until the individual arrived at my house. Over the next 30 minutes, they talked and drank in my kitchen. When she left, I was angry and frustrated. I thought that her cell phone etiquette was extremely poor (in that she was there to visit with me but spent time with somebody else) and I felt used.
Do you know that type of person that comes barreling in and just sort of takes over whether they are asked to or not? This describes Jane. If the situation isn’t to her liking, she makes it that way. I could sit here and discuss instance after instance but that is really counterproductive to the point in which I am trying to make. My point is that Jane is too narcissistic to care about anyone but herself as evident through her behavior the other night. Also, Jane doesn’t care enough about me to consider how I would feel when she asserts herself. Jane is the type of person that complicates my life, creates drama where drama shouldn’t exist. I have spent a lot of time and energy being angry and frustrated with Jane. So part of my new existence is to distance myself from the Jane(s) of the world and let in only those individuals who respect and care for me.
Simplicity is about getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value. In a sense, this is the next “chipping away” of my sculpture. While I know this won’t be an easy task (especially because our kids love each other) I also know that when I am around her, I feel bad about myself. So my inner artist will focus on this bit while I continue to search and define my authentic self.
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