Bye Bye to Bullies

This will be a rather long post so I hope that you will indulge me. On Friday, I went for an interview for the position of Acute Care Coordinator with a large Dialysis firm. I thought the position sounded interesting and challenging. (Besides, I need a job, right). I didn’t know if this position would be right for me or not so I wanted to explore the opportunity. It was undoubtedly the worst experience of my interviewing life. When I came back to my office I stewed over my experience and then began calling some of my mentors. It was suggested that I write her superior a letter. When I called to find the name of her boss, Rachel, the nice young lady that I talked to, informed me that there was a formal complaint process. Usually, I let things go but I was angry also, I working through my ability to act upon my intentions, so I filed a formal complaint that read like this:

“I wanted to take the time to share with you an experience I had this morning interviewing for the position of Acute Care Coordinator in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have attached a copy of the letter that I have put in the mail to the Director of Operations, Kathy M., who conducted the interview. I want to tell you that I have never filed a complaint like this before. After giving it some thought though, I think that I would want to know if a potential candidate left my place in the same state in which I left Kathy M’s office.

I have never in my life felt so unwelcomed into an organization than I did today. Typically, I would just move on from this experience, but I am so passionate about dialysis clients and the many different wonderful extracorporeal therapies that are out there that I felt that I needed to finally make a stance. Kathy indicated that a competitor, Liberty Dialysis, is “stealing” your clients and your staff and that you have lost quite a bit of market share to them over the years. I would not be surprised if that fact is true if Kathy’s treatment of me is any indication how employees and patients are treated. Good customer service extends from the top down and I can tell you that as much as I wanted the challenge of working in the Acute Care Coordinator role, I could not work in a corporate culture as the one shared with me today.

As I answered her questions, (to the best of recollection as she was asking me questions that related to the work I did twenty years ago) she made a point, in an angry tone, to tell me that my responses were incorrect. This was the most hostile and unprofessional interview in which I have ever participated. I felt as if each question built upon the next to set me up for failure.

I’m fairly thick-skinned. I have run organizations as large as 60 employees and 300 clients. I also know that I have been very fortunate and lucky over the years to be in the right place at the right time and to have had the opportunity to be a part of so many wonderful and innovative device designs and implementations. I felt as if Kathy wanted to make some sort of example out of me with her “interrogation techniques,” that I left her office so angry and upset, by the time I made it to the car I was in tears.

Feel free to call me if you wish to understand more about my experience. Thank you so much for your time.”

This is really just an example of some of my experiences. It would take a small chapter in a book to outline the entire experience for you. After she told me my “resume was a mess, there was too much on it and she couldn’t read it, her first question to me was, “Where do you get off claiming you were the only company that offered private pay dialysis?” I responded cooly and told her that my referral sources told me that I was the only HOME HEALTH CARE Company that would take on PRIVATE PAY dialysis patients. So now, I am even more on edge than when she walked into the room. I almost got up and walked out but I wanted to play it through to see if she would warm up a bit. Not!

At one point in the conversation she asked me which CLCDC I worked at. I told her that I think, at the time there was only one and I worked at the one in Clifton. Mind you, I worked there twenty years ago so I was pulling on old memories that really no longer existed as far as I was concerned. She said to me, “You are wrong! There were x number of units in…blah blah blah blah….I say “Blah Blah” because I couldn’t believe her hostility towards me and I was not paying attention. She asked me who my nurse manager was at that facility and I told her. She scoffed and rolled her eyes. Now I was pissed. She scoffed and rolled her eyes at the name of one of my greatest mentors! This woman took me on and taught me everything there was to know about management and dialysis. She was the foundation to my career and she was, at that moment in time, being scoffed at by Nurse Ratchet!

At the end of the interview, she asked me if I had any more questions. Well, I just wanted out of there and so very calmly I said, “I do have more questions but I don’t want to waste anymore of your time. I’m sure that the answers will be flushed out as we continue through the interview process.” With disdain in her voice, she responded to me, “Well you didn’t ask about training, you should’ve asked about training, that would’ve been a good question!” I was thinking to myself, “woman, I just want out of here, there will be no training because I would not work for you even if Hell froze over!” It was like an episode of Ally McBeal going on in my head because what I really said was, “Well, I just assumed that there would be a training program in place.” I then had to sit through another fifteen minute diatribe about her anticipated training program (which she really didn’t know because she reported to two different managers herself). She said she would be in touch and I thought to myself, “not bloody likely” and we said our goodbyes.

I told the woman at the corporate office that it was like a scene out of the movie “Mean Girls” and she was the mean one. What “Grinds my Gears” though is the bullying! I hate a bully and I have always worked hard to fight them with every ounce of energy I could muster up when I felt it was for a good cause. This is a good cause. These patients and the nurses who provide care for them deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, not be governed by intimidation in fear. We are not in the old Soviet Union! We are in the United States of America where we were built by individuals who chose to make a stand against bullies! I will not be bullied and this woman should be dethroned to make room for a kind, loving and caring nurse who will provided excellent care to both her/his employees and patients.

Here is the "Thank-You note that I sent to the mean lady:

“Dear Kathy,

I would like to withdraw my application as a candidate for the position of Acute Care Coordinator for the Greater Cincinnati area. While I find that the position itself would be intellectually challenging and a fun way to pull from all of my various extracorporeal and leadership skills, I feel that our management styles would directly conflict with each other over time.

I have thought long and hard about how I would respond to our interaction this morning and I think that the best way is to just put it out there, honestly and as objectively as possible. I felt as if you were bringing me into the office for a personal attack on myself and my skill set. When you entered the conference room and the first statement you made was, “I will be doing your interrogation, so to speak,” it made me extremely uncomfortable. As you picked through my resume, I felt as if you made an attempt at every turn to belittle the experience that I could bring to your table. While some of my facts may not have been correct (because you focused on my experience twenty years ago) I did not feel that the pointed confrontations on my recollection were warranted.

I have experience in hemodialysis, peritoneal dialysis, continuous renal replacement therapy, aphaeresis, stem-cell processing, and other state of the art extracorporeal therapies and equipment. Just because some of it is industry related, it doesn’t make my experience less valid. It is someone like myself, who works for a corporation and sets up intense training programs for staff across the nation, that teaches nurses in the units how to perform the therapies safely and effectively.

My personal corporate philosophy is that everyone in the organization is treated like a customer; both internally and externally. Also, I treat everyone alike, without judgment, and would never knowingly make someone (especially a new candidate) feel as if they are not a welcome part of the organization. I foster a corporate culture that is respectful, courteous, warm and welcoming. I lead by example. This is the primary reason for my withdrawal and why I feel that we are not a good fit for each other.

I have such a passion for dialysis and other extracorporeal therapies that I am saddened by this experience. Dialysis is hard anyway, for both the nurse and the client that I always tried to be the “bright spot” for my fellow employees and especially, my patients. But that brightness shines from the top down and without continual positive support, the message never reaches the place of most importance.

If you knew before I came into your office that I was not the right candidate for you, I wish you would not have wasted my time or your time. I can tell you that the one lesson I have taken from this experience is that I will investigate more fully the corporate culture before I begin the interview process.”